To Be With You
by Andi.Elric
Summary: SPOILER ALERT! (If you haven't seen all of Guilty (Or read up until the the ending of the fight with Rido), I suggest you don't read. It contains a MAJOR spoiler. YE BE WARNED) Ichiru's been delivered a final blow. All he wants is Zero to fulfill his wish. Will Zero be able to do it?


_**Heya guys! Andi. Elric here. So, this is my one-shot I started, and finished in honor of the first dubbed anime I ever watched at the ripe age of 18 in 2010. I fell in love with both Kiryu twins, mostly Zero, but lately I've been finding myself drawn to Ichiru too. I still thank my friend for showing me "Vampire Knight". **_

_**Anyway, this is a SPOILER ALERT. This one-shot is of what Ichiru is going through as he makes his way to Zero one final time in Guilty. The episode in the anime made me tear up. Being an older sister, if my sister Al (Her name is Allison, but she's younger and taller than me like Alphonse in FMA) asked me to do what Ichiru did in those exact circumstances, I'd lose it. Kudo's Zero! I read the manga (ahem, still reading the manga as updates come out. I am a Zero fangirl rooting for someone to just kill Kaname already) and teared up even more during this scene. In the dubbed, Vic does a great job playing both Kiryu twins! **_

_**So, onward, this one-shot took a lot of pausing, rewinding, and playing for me to get right. Most of the dialogue I took from the anime because I had it on DVD and I wanted to get the thing right the first time! At the end, I went from the manga for after the fight when Zero gets Ichiru (which caused another teared-up feels moment for me). So, yeah, you guys get the picture, and I am gonna stop talking. Enjoy this "Vampire Knight" one-shot!**_

_**-Hugs~ **_

* * *

The pain spread from the wound Rido Kuran had just caused, but the wound itself was almost going numb. I winced in pain in rememberance of his words. He called me weak. It was true, I had to give him that. But all I wanted now was to be one with my other half. Knowing him, he'd forgive me. He was, and always had been, kind-hearted. I knew that if he knew I was going to die, like I pretty sure I was, he'd grant me my final wish. After all, he was my older brother.

I leaned against the wall, trying to work through the nagging, throbbing pain and regain my focus on where Zero was. I had to see Zero. He was a part of my final wish. I knew I was slowly dying. Rido wasn't lying when he said I was weak. I've been weak all my life. I was born weak, and I'll die weak. But, as long as I am with Zero, knowing he'll fulfill my last wish, I don't care.

"Z-Zero," I muttered as I braced myself walking down the hallway. "I have to find Zero, my brother." My twin, I finished in my head.

It was when I saw Kaname Kuran walk out of the dungeon entrance that my gut wrenched. Zero was down there. Ever since he found out Yuki Cross, a girl he loves as much as me, was a pureblood by the name of Yuki Kuran, he's not been the usual gloomy person he's become. If I was Zero, I would have went nuts. Zero hates vampires. Hell, I didn't know that girl was one, but had a strong esemblance to the pureblood whom Zero hated for some reason. I remembered when Shizuka told me that purebloods had a way to turn their kin into human, but had to sacrifice their lives for it. I didn't think that girl's parents would do that; not until I had found out.

I headed into the dungeon entrace, careful not to let anyone see me go in there. I clutched my coat sleeve until I made it in front of the only shut door. I knew Zero was in there. Something inside told me he was in there. I took in a deep breath to compose myself and to cover up my wound with my coat. I opened the door with a creak from the old hinges.

Zero was sitting on the floor. His uniform jacket and vest were gone. He looked defeated. I hated it when my brother looked like that. I let out a silent sigh, thinking about what I wanted before I died, I walked to him. His head perked up, his light-grey hair shifting with his sudden movement and he stood. I picked up his gun, fully knowing what I was going to do.

Zero eyed me suspiciously. "Ichiru," he choked out, half wheezing. It tore me up to see him suffer, but now wasn't the time to let my guard down. After all, I was supposed to hate him.

As he struggled for breath even more, making it clearer that he was suffering. Who wouldn't after drinking the blood of that Yuki girl multiple times? I aimed his Bloody Rose at him. "The time has come, Zero."

Zero stared at me, still clutching himself, "Ichiru, you're not..."

I leveled the Bloody Rose toward him with a set determined look in my eyes, aiming a little better where I wanted to shoot him. It wasn't his heart. No, I didn't want to kill him.

I cocked Bloody Rose. "Zero," I said as I pulled the trigger.

The blast rang through the air and the smell of his blood soon followed. I knew everyone who was a vampire would stop and smell it. With at least one pureblood's blood running through his veins, his blood must smell irresistible Zero stood there, letting his blood drip down him and splatter on the bleak brick dungeon walls. He was hiding his pain, his deep gray-purple eyes staring into mine in disbelief that I just shot my identical twin.

I didn't lower his gun as he started to drop to the even bleaker floor, the deep crimson spot on his shoulder spreading wider as his heart pumped his blood a little faster than before.

I felt the pang of sympathetic guilt as he gripped his shoulder and groaned in pain after the shot rang in the air and the bullet pierced through his skin. I watched his blood streak down the wall of the dungeon to the floor as he dropped to his knees. I got him good. He's going to want blood, and it's going to be mine. All of mine.

It made me think of when we were kids. Back when Zero and I were together all the time. Back when I questioned why I was so weak and not one with my own brother.

* * *

"Why were we born separate human beings?" I asked as I played with something in my hands. "I wanted to be born as one with you, Zero."  
It was late at night. Mother and Father were out on a hunt, leaving Zero and I alone. I remembered the time so clearly; like it was yesterday. Zero was taking care of me. I was in my yellow pajamas and he was in his pale blue-green ones. We were mirror images of each other.

Zero stopped in his tracks for a moment, as if thinking about what I had said and feeling the stab of guilt hit him. He turned to me, a saddened, yet surprised look in his eyes.

"If I knew I'd be born like this." I kept my gaze toward my hands, avoiding his expression. I knew he'd be feeling guilty. He always did for some reason. "If I knew I'd be born incomplete like this." I knew the saddened look deepened, knowing my kind-hearted older twin. "I just..."

In an instant, Zero's arms wrapped around me as he tackled me onto the bed, where I was sat up in, making me hit my head on the wooden headboard. I laid there for a second in shock of what just happened.

"I'm sorry," Zero said quickly. I knew he what he was apologizing for, but I avoided it.

"O-Ow," I managed out when the sting at the back of my head jolted me to reality. "You made me hit my head."

Zero's hug got a little tighter as he repeated himself. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Ichiru."

I gave him a soft, caring smile. "It was only a little bump. There's no need to apologize, Zero. It wasn't that bad."

I know why I always said that to him because I know how he'll react. I watched him pull away from me to hover over me with those sad, caring eyes. The only way I feel like his other half were moments when I knew I had hurt him internally. Zero had already realized it. He knew it when I started it. He knew everything about me just like I knew everything about him.

We had gone to bed that night after Zero had turned out all the lights in the house, and he crawled into bed with me. Just like we had always done when Mother and Father were out on their hunts. I always would try to comfort him after I delivered that kind of blow to him, and he'd let me. He'd let me do all kinds of things like that to him. I had a feeling it was because I was the weaker one of the two of us. The one who would constantly get sick all the time.

"Zero," I said, getting his attention as we stared at each other another night when Mother and Father were out hunting a vampire on the List.

"Hey, what are you thinking about? Can I guess what it is?" When Zero looked scared, like he was found out after doing something wrong. I chukled, letting my fingers disappear into his matching silver hair. I brought his head closer to mine. "You get too worked up. You're never going to become a cool, strong hunter acting like this."

We both knew he was going to be a great hunter. I wasn't. Master didn't have the time for me, and I would drag Zero down.

"Zero, there are things we can't tell each other," I said to him as I pressed his forehead to mine like we would do to feel closer to each other growing up, "because you and I are so close."

That's why I started veering from him. I had to.

Zero moved from me, sitting up in the bed. "Ichiru, you haven't taken your medicine yet."

I hated the sound of that word: medicine. I looked toward him as he moved to get out of bed and to it. I stopped him by grabbng his wrist.

"It's alright," I said, making sure he stopped and didn't pry my hand away. "For some reason, I seem to feel much better when you're with me, Zero."

It wasn't a lie what I had said to him that night. Every time we were close like this, I'd feel stronger. Stronger than what that damn medicine could give me.

Zero laid back down with me and we stayed like that, staring at each other until we'd both fallen asleep. I knew I had fallen asleep first. I always had, and let Zero just watch me sleep. As babies, when I would sleep, Zero would have an arm toward me, like he was reaching out. He always wanted near me when I would cry. We heard about this from stories and pictures from our mother and father.

It was always like that.

* * *

"Zero," I said sternly as he gripped his shoulder to ease the pain from the bullet of his own anti-vampire weapon. "Don't let your mind wander." I wondered if he had thought of the same thing I did. "You've meakly allowed yourself to be imprisoned. You were always demeaning yourself back when we were kids." Oh, didn't I know it! "Is this how you atone yourself. You couldn't have possibly thought your acts were of comfort to me, could you?"

Deep down, I hated it when he did belittle himself for what he did unconsciously when our mother was pregnant with us.

I knelt to him, despite the pain further spreading as I moved. I couldn't waver in front of Zero now. I had to keep going while I had his attention. While I had the energy to say what I wanted without him objecting. "All your actions have done is force me to realize that you would have been free if I hadn't been born. Never had existed at all."

Zero gave me his tough expression. Not a glare he would give others, but a determined look. Like he was disappointed and angered that I had said it. At least he was paying attention. Now I had to make him feel guilty.

"However, this is no consolation for having Shizuka taken away from me," I said with an almost deadly tone, still holding his chin. My tone had gotten sharper as I finished my sentence, hoping he'd feel the slightest bit guilty for shooting her and aiding her death.

"Don't worry, my pursuit of atonement is long gone now." Now his voice was like mine; at least we're on the same page. No one but me could tell he was still in pain. "I let it go. When I saw you smiling that night."

My mind instantly flashed back to when Shizuka killed our parents. I was the one that turned them in. I remembered seeing Zero's pained, weak look as he saw me and Shizuka. As I was defenseless, thinking of the past, Zero groaned for a second before balling my coat into his fists and grabbing my wrist tightly, pulling me down to him as he raised his body a little. I kept his gun at my side just in case I needed to use it again. The blood on his shoudler had spread from his shoulder and down his side.

"How could you smile?" His voice was raspier than normal. He was beyond angry. "How could you smile at the murder of Mother and Father?"

His grip on my wrist tightened. He let out a hiss, the hunger pangs for blood were coming. Good. It's what I wanted. I wanted his thirst for blood high with no choice but my blood. I looked to my suffering brother as he fought off the urge.

"So then," I said smoothly, "are you about to lose control now?" Zero only raised his head a little. Now he had to know the truth from that night. "Just so you know, I didn't wish for them to die." Zero twitched a little from my words. He continued to struggle to breathe in normally and bare with the pain as he listened. "Our parents were the ones who hunted and killed Shizuka's lover, who also happened to be a former human. He had yet to fall to a Level E, but still, his name was on the Hunter's List. Our parent's weren't at fault; they were just following orders." My gaze on Zero narrowed. "But when Shizuka told me what happened, I was digusted."

I felt my blood, which was running down my body, soaking everything in his path: my shirt, coat, pants, boxers, socks, my shoes, and running onto the brick cement; filling every crevace it could. I was feeling weaker, like I had when I was younger. But Zero couldn't know yet. He could possibly smell my blood, or was it mixed with his and he couldn't tell?

I continued on, despite my new-found fatigue. "On the day they executed Shizuka's lover, they held us with the same arms they killed with." That was the night Zero apologized and I hit my head. I remembered the night so clearly.

It tore me apart as I continued to think about it. It wasn't long after that Mother and Father declared that I was too weak to become a hunter and stay with Zero, the only one who truly knew me. It hurt to know they were seeing me both as Vampire Hunters for the Association, seeing a twelve year old boy who was too weak to hunt like the rest of the Kiryu's had, and as my own parents, who wanted to care for me and my weak body.

"Ichiru, one last question," Zero said as he jolted me yet again from another memory. No wonder they say your life flashes before your eyes when you die. I gave him a look. It was a mixture of a glare and wonder of what he was going to ask. I hoped it wasn't about my wound. I figured I had a little time before I told him. I watched as his gaze went to the deep maroon spot on my chest. "Why are you hurt so badly?"

Damn it, I was caught before I could tell him myself.

"All I wanted was to fulfill Shizuka's wish. He was my only target." I hated to say his name, and there was no reason I was about to start hiding his name. "The one who imprisoned her, and screwed with the execution list: Rido Kuran."

The bastard who wounded me.

* * *

"Shall I ask why you are doing this?" he asked just a little earlier, before the sun had gone down.

I kept Shizuka's sword through him, the tip of the sword clearly seen on the other side of his body. I stayed in position, ready to twist the blade in him. I knew it wouldn't kill him right away, but I wanted him to feel the pain I felt.

"I wanted to retaliate for Shizkua, whose life was ruined because of you!" I tried to keep the tears down. I loved her. "I wanted to deliver the final blow. That's why I've been here this whole time, eagerly waiting for your resurrection."

His eyes narrowed at me as he looked to me from over his shoulder. His one brown eye was unmistakable, so was his hair. He was definitely a Kuran.

"Flea," he said. His voice resonated deep into my core. "I have no use for the weak."

I jumped a little; he called me out. He called me without knowing me. I knew I was weak, but hearing it from him made it worse. With that, he used his claws, ripping through my flesh.

* * *

"Even though I did all I could," I could feel my blood, as well as Zero's, hit my knee, soaking through my pants. Zero jumped, as if feeling my body get weaker and weaker like I could."I knew...that it... that I couldn't do much."

I dropped my other knee to the large pool of blood, falling and landing my head against Zero's wounded shoulder. I dropped his gun. Now was the time, I thought as I drew in a heavy breath. I could feel Zero's arms wrap around me.

I drew in a quivering breath, fighting tears. "I'm so useless. Was there anything else that I could have to say?"

I could feel Zero's lung struggle for a normal, not-wheezing breath as he bit back the pain. I closed my eyes, finally feeling like I had four years ago when we still lived together. Like I was one with him.

"Ichiru," Zero said with his caring, yet stern, voice.

I stopped him before he could say anything more. "I... I feel...so sick. This place reaks with the smell of our blood."

Now the smell was getting to me. I vaguely wondered how Zero wasn't craving blood with that blood-soaked luster in his eyes and his tattoo glowing like I had seen when Shizuka was alive.

"It must be tempting for you, Zero," I said, trying to push his thoughts in the direction I wanted them to go. I still wanted him to grant me my wish as I cracked open one eye and saw the pool get even larger. "I'm surprised you're still sane." I could feel his heart beat against my head, comforting me like it had when we were kids. It was soothing my pounding heart, almost lulling me to sleep. "You've become a different being now, but for whatever reason, I still feel the most comfortable next to you."

I felt Zero jump a little in surprise, like he was shocked to hear that.

"It's proof..." I took in a deep, trembling breath, trying to keep my thoughts focused. "It's proof that we...we were once one...one embryo." I took in another trembling breath, feeling my impending death grow closer. "Zero," I felt his head move against mine, looking toward me. I felt my self get even more weaker. The weakest I've ever felt. Now was the time to tell him. "Zero, I want you to devour what remians of my life."

Zero's arms around me tightened. He asked me huskily, "What are you saying?"

I drew in another breath, trying not to lose control of myself. I knew I'd have to explain it to him. "You already know that if you devour me, you can regain the powers that you should have had at birth. Then you can be able to control yourself. You can control all those urges you feel."

It came out quicker than I wanted to, but at least he heard me.

His arms tightened even more. "I won't," he said with finality. His voice went harsher, more huskier. "I can't do something like that!"

I had a feeling he'd say something like that. I felt my limbs get a little more weaker than before. I started to raise my right hand. "Yes...you will," I said as I reached my hand toward the shoulder I just shot.

I gripped his shirt, my fingertips on a couple of my fingers dipping into his blood. "Why do you think I shot you with the Bloody Rose? You have to Zero."

The last thing I wanted to do was convince my brother that being one with him was all I wanted. That it was my final wish.

"I won't do it!" he said quickly. His tone was desparate. Now he knew what I was trying to get at. "Please don't die!" He drew in a trembling breath, thinking about what I was asking further. "I can't lose anybody else!"

Of course he couldn't, but he will. He'd already lost our parents, the Yuki Cross he knew, and now he was losing me.

I closed my eyes again with a small smile. "Hearing that..." my mind flashed to all the times I was happy with him. All the times I hugged him, trained with him, and with him at my side. "Makes me so happy." I drew in a breath, fighting tears, glad to know I was still his little brother. "I thought I was already dead to you."

I know I'd consider it after what I've done to him.

He hugged me a little tighter, like he used to after I'd hurt him about why I was born. "Maria wanted to see you as well," he said, his voice half normal and half husky.

"She did, huh?" I asked weakly, remembering all the time I had spent with her while Shizuka was taking a break from her. I took care of her like I took care of Shizuka, but the feeling wasn't there that I had for Shizuka. I loved Shizuka like I loved Zero. I didn't love her like Maria loved me.

"Father and Mother watched over you too, and they love you," Zero now sounded close to tears, "I promise."

I gave a silent sigh, knowing that's all I wanted to hear about them. That they did love me still. "I know."

I started to reach into my pocket for the bell that was once Shizuka's, ignoring the warm flowing crimson dripping off my hand and further making our mixture of blood bigger. I was ever closer to meeting death. "Zero, you don't have to forgive Shizuka for anything, but please don't hold a grudge against her." I sighed a little, thinking about the beautiful woman I spent four years with. "Shizuka cherished me to the very end. That's why I don't regret anything that's happened so me, and soon..."

"Ichiru," Zero sounded even closer to the edge of sanity and tears. "I can't; this is wrong!"

I gripping his wounded shoulder more, my two fingers still dipped in his blood. I had already came to terms with my own death. I just had to make Zero see that, which was becoming a bigger problem. "Zero, is it really?" I opened my eyes, trying to both spend and conserve energy until I was done with what I had to say. "If that's what you truly believe, then live. Live, Zero, and do what I cannot!" I drew in a quick breath. "Live, Zero; do it for _me_!"

I felt Zero raise his head slightly, taking in a sharp breath. His grip tightened even more, like I was going to die on him while he thought for a moment. I was holding on until I felt his fangs in my neck. I was holding on for him.

I took in another short breath, trying to will words out of my mouth. "S-Soon..." I felt Zero jump a little, taking him from his thoughts or memories.

I took out Shizuka's bell from my pocket. I wanted to hold it as I died. I whimpered a little from the pain that was slowly turning numb on me. It was near about time.

"Soon...I will become one with Zero again."

I closed my eyes, my hand releasing Shizuka's bell. I was closer than I thought. This was my end, and at least I was in Zero's arms like I wanted. I heard the tiny piece of metal drop onto the bricks I was kneeling on. My knees had long since gone numb, along with the rest of my legs. Just as my arms were going the same kind of numb. I felt Zero tremble beneath me, whimpering, a tear dripping down his cheek. Just as the world became silent, Zero drew in a quick, quivering breath and let out an ill-fated scream.

Zero's arms wrapped around my body in a tight hug, still shaking from everything that had happened between us. I hadn't let completely go yet. I still had to feel one last thing. His breaths were uneven and shaking just as much as he was.

"I...I can't do this!" he said, aloud. His arms hugged me a little tighter. His voice was shaking, moments from breaking. "This is wrong..."

I felt Zero's hand drop from his other one in our embrace. More tears dripped down his cheeks. It was like I could hear him bare his fangs, ready to bite. He gripped my clothes with his lower hand as the other one gripped and pulled them back, giving himself better access to my neck. So he was going to grant me my final wish after all. In an instant, his fangs dug deep into my flesh, uncaring of how far in they were going . Blood streamed down my neck, onto my collarbone, further dripping down to my chest. I could feel him drink my blood, just as I wanted him to. He drank like he hadn't drank in a long time, like I was the one filling him up. I opened my eyes one last time, happy that it was Zero who was granting me my wish before I died. I gently closed my eyes again, letting him take all my energy, all my life. Further descending me into the warm, welcoming darkness...

Now, I'm one with Zero.

* * *

_The worse thing I felt since I saw Ichiru's smiling face the day our parents died by Shizuka Hio's hand was when I felt his life fade into nothing as I devoured his life remains like he wanted me to. I still trembled as I drank him dry. When I stopped, feeling no life left within him, if there was, it was going to be gone before I left him. After licking up the blood that had dripped from his neck, I gently laid him next to where we were kneeling in the pool of our blood. Mixing into one, almost like what Ichiru wanted in the end: to become one with me. There was a soft expression on his face as I placed her bell into his fingers. I couldn't stop shaking as I looked to him, his blood still on my lips, threatening to drip down my chin._

_"Rest in peace, my brother, my twin, my Ichiru," I uttered as I moved hair from his eyes, standing._

_I stepped into our pool of blood, already feeling the last of my shoulder healing from when he shot me with my own gun. I shook a little as I licked my lips, trying to get his blood off me as best as I could. I finally used my hand to wipe it, feeling my muscles twitch more and come alive. It was like there was a void in me that was finally filled. I felt stronger. I continued my walk to the door, knowing that I must defeat that other damn Kuran for Ichiru._

_I gripped the door and tore it off the hinges. I tossed it away, making sure it was well away from my other half's body. I looked to him once more before gripping the bricks and walking out of the dungeon where master had thrown me in. As I walked up the stairs, still recovering from what I had just done and feeling this new-found life and energy within me, I couldn't help but to think about my brother. The one who I couldn't bring myself to ever hate._

_When this fight is over, I'll come back for you, Ichiru._


End file.
